I picked her day......

This doctors appointment made me so nervous, because I knew that I had to pick a date for Rabecca to be born. You see we knew the possibility of her being still born or the possibility of only getting a few minutes with her, so at the previous appointment I was told to think about inducing her and that I needed to pick a day. Hmmmmm....pick a day. Thoes words rang throughout my mind, only it sounded more like "You need to pick a day for your baby to die" It sent chills up and down my spine. I know that I was picking the day of her birth, but in my mind I was picking the day she would die. I could'nt stop thinking thoes words. Over and over again. I got down the calendar and decided it would be a Monday, so that the kids could all stay at the house over the weekend and then come to the hospital as soon as labor began to meet their sister. I didn't want to make it for more than a week before her real due date, because she needed all the time she could get to develop thoes lungs and grow as much as possible. "October 1st 2007" I said out loud to Joey. He said "are you sure?" "I am positive."

The next Monday was my last doctors appointment and I went in and talked to the doc about what would be best for me. Should I have a C-section or natural birth. I had already talked to Dr. Clark about this and I guess I more or less wanted to see if we were all on the same page. We were. She said that my best chances at a live birth were to have her vaginally. I agreed and then she asked me if I had decided on a day. I told her that yes we did October 1st. She asked if I was sure and I said yes then she excused herself from the room and came back in about 15 minutes with a lot of papers and said that it was all set. I needed to be at the hospital on Sunday at 3:oo pm. My heart began pounding. I was going to have a baby in 1 week and I was terrified! You'd think that this was my first considering how nervous I was. She alos said that my blood pressure was way up and she wanted me to stop working. I called Tammy when I got home and I asked her to be there and she said she would. I needed all the support that I could get. We called the family and told them our plans so that anyone who wanted to be there could. We wanted to share her with everyone that could come. I began to get that nesting feeling and I cleaned my house from top to bottom at least 3 times that week. I packed my bag and I finally talked myself into packing one for her too. I went to the crafts store and bought hand and feet print molds and 2 scrapbooks. I wanted every momento possible from the hospital. I was beginning to get excited! That was a wonderful feeling. It was something that I had wanted to do from the time I knew she was sick, but I just couldn't .............not until now anyway!!!!! Now I was excited as could be. This was the calm, wonderful feeling that I was looking for. I am going to have a baby in a few days!!! I couldn't wait!!!