The Big Day..........

"Here we go baby!" I said to Joey. He just smiled from ear to ear. I could tell that he was just as nervous as I was, but he tried not to show it. The nurses did the usual thing, strap the monitor to me and checked her for about 30 minutes or so then she removed the monitor straps and told me when I was ready to let her know and she would let me hear her heartbeat again. You see when we decided on comfort care we also told them that we only wanted intermittent heart beat checks, because normally if a baby's heart went into distress they would do a c-section to get to the baby as fast as possible, but in my case since the baby was so sick, there was nothing that they could do to save her life. This way IF she did pass away in the labor process I would still know, but I wouldn't be focused only on that, I could think more positive. It was for my sanity more than anything. If she had passed during labor and I knew when it happened I don't think that I would have been able to handle it. This was better for me and her, less stress. 6:00 came and the nurse came in and gave me an insert pill to open my cervix. She told me that that would probably get me good and started since I was already at 2cm when I came in. So we called Kathy, Rabecca's mema. (our blessing, and level head for this situation) She was on her way home from Atlanta and it was getting late, but she said that she was on her way there before she went home. She came in as they were giving me another insert for labor. A few more hours went by and nothing! This lil booger was on her time and that was it! 11:00pm came and they couldn't give me anymore insert medication cuz I had the max, so we went to get a good old dose of petocin. 2 bags later still in the same spot. 3.5cm, obviously she was not ready for an appearance. I began to get a little uncomfortable so I went ahead and got the epidural...........then went to sleep! I slept for the entire labor. I never woke up until about 6:30am for a "check".....STILL at 3.5cm! She was definitely not coming until she was ready. Some time around 6:45am I thought I'd peed on myself so I asked Joey to call the nurse and tell her I peed the bed, when she came in she said "That's not pee it's fluid. Your water broke." "But I'm not dilated enough." I said. "Don't worry you have plenty of time, you still have a couple of hours at the least before you are ready." WHHEW! I started to get nervous and called my mom and mema's and papa's and aunts and uncles to let them know my water had broke to be listening for the phone. It wasn't even 10minutes I felt like I had to "go to the bathroom" then it got worse and worse and worse, so Kathy called the nurse and said that she thought Becca was coming now. The nurse came in and said "sure enough, let's have this baby!" "NO NO NO not yet. Really right now? " I asked her. She just smiled and said "the doctor is on the way honey, you'll be just fine." It was pure mayhem in that room! There were nurses, doctors everywhere putting the table down. Mema Kathy was taking pictures left and right (thank goodness!). For a reason that I didn't get at that moment, there was such a peace and calmness that came over me and I knew that everything was going to be okay. I was a little scared, but not to the degree that you would think. It seemed like I was watching all this chaos go on around me, but it was in slow motion.
" I need to push" I told the nurse "OK just go ahead when you feel like it" I looked at the doctor standing at the end of my bed. He was just watching, and waiting on her to come. I gave a pitiful, tiny little push. "Come on now you can do better than that. You are not going to hurt her." said the nurse. I took a deep breath and pushed real hard. "She's almost here, a little harder this time" I took a real deep breath and pushed with everything inside me. I looked over at Joey and he was in complete amazement and was smiling saying "come on baby, she's almost here" "HAPPY BIRTHDAY RABECCA!!" said the doctor. "Is she crying...... is she crying?!!" Then I heard the most beautiful sound in the world.......her tiny little angry squeek of a cry! SHE WAS ALIVE!! I heard my baby cry!!!! It sounded like a thousand angels singing to me. I felt the presence of God in that room that day. I began to cry a happy cry and I got to reach down and touch her little body as they took her legs out. I wish I could have put that very moment in a bottle and kept it forever. They took Rabecca over to the weight table and she came in a whopping 3lbs 12oz! The doctors quickly evaluated her. I was trying to look over and see her, but I couldn't. I could hear her squeek a little here and there. Rabecca was quickly wrapped and brought to me. I was holding my baby girl ....ALIVE!!! Thank you God!!!!! I was so in love with her at that very moment. That was all I asked Him for. Just let me tell her I love her Lord, was a prayer that I had prayed a million times during my pregnancy. I must have said it to her 100 times, till her daddy said very softly.."Can I hold her?" "You haven't held her yet?" I asked " No" he said . I immediately kissed her head and handed her to her daddy. I have the most beautiful picture of Rabecca and her daddy. He is looking down at her with such love in his eyes. I believe that is the happiest that I have ever seen him. As we were enjoying all the chaos I hadn't noticed the room of people who were flooding in to meet her. There were all 6 of her brothers and sisters, her grandparents, aunts and uncles, close friends and a photographer who was taking the most beautiful pictures in the world for me to remember this moment. My baby was alive!! She was breathing all by herself, her heart was beating properly, she was responsive, and I was holding her. This was the most beautiful day ever!!!!!